When my Summer started, it started off with learning that my mother is dying of incurable cancer…
I thought that happiness was this magical thing that was hard to grasp on too but when you did it would fill you full and you never would need to search for again. I thought that to find it I would need to first find it in others. So I spent years searching for a mate and then more years searching for it in my kids.
But I forgot to search within myself.
So when I had everything I ever wanted I realized it still wasn’t what I was searching for.
We are not meant to live this life to only satisfy our needs. We are meant to live and build alongside others. To create this community of souls learning for their human mishaps. To transform what has once been a burden to one into a triumph for another.
You are not meant to exist you are meant to live. To live on your terms. To live the life you want. regardless of what others have told you in the past.
Does the heaviness of the water on my skin calm my body or am I at lost for air that I am unsure if I am truly submerge or if this is just how life should be for me now.
All I know is my lungs are screaming. My heart is pounding and life is still there.
So I have been sitting here looking at this screen… … questioning what to write to you guys I think that is one of the hardest part about sharing yourself every day, is that you indeed share yourself, every day. Sometimes I share so much that I don’t have a lot left for me. The other […]
I woke up that morning, as I normally did. There was no extra magic tucked under the covers ready for it to burst into my life, handing me what I wanted. But instead, as my feet touched the floor, I knew it would be a different world for me.
It is much easier to blame others for the faults we see within ourselves. When we do that, we no longer have to face the reality of them. We don’t have to do the work to challenge ourselves to look at it with a different viewpoint.
To be honest, I wish I could live my life that way.
… I want to be able to pull out the sunshine I have in my pocket and douse them with it. Only to prove to them that although they cover themselves with the dark that the light is so much more powerful.
Today I had the opportunity to teach my autistic son the value in what I call growth and strength. There are certain routines that are often in our house because of the autism we get to experience. Each morning my middle son Gunner wakes up, finds me, and tells me good morning as he does […]