JUST LET ME BLEED ALREADY

breath

I haven’t had my period for a month. It’s been this thing hanging over me, I’ve packed extra underwear, my period cups and I even googled ” Can you still get pregnant if your tubes were completely removed?” – Quick answer, no. (thank god) Long answer, where the hell is my period?!?!

I know that my body has been needing the release that comes from that dreaded time of the month. I could feel my emotions being stacked on top of each other just waiting to see who was going to fall first.

I just wanted to scream “JUST LET ME BLEED ALREADY” and I may have. I am sure that the stress I was feeling of kids, and managing my small business, workshops, craft fairs and the thought of going back to work on top of it all was causing this sly mistress to cunningly disappear.ย Maybe she thought she was doing me a favor. And hey,ย  in some cases she was.ย But the emotions man, the emotions was more than I wanted to deal with.

I am a person who feels things so intensely that when the slightest thing is off centered it’s like an explosion happened and I am picking up all these random pieces not sure what goes where or why I feel sad when all I am is full of joy.

Emotions are tricky. The slightest thing can throw you off balance. That’s why when my kids are feeling BIG feelings, I try to help them focus on the stuff that’s underneath it all. You know the real reason you are screaming at everyone, is not because your brother looked at you weird. It’s because your hungry and need a FREAKIN’ nap.

So when it gets hard to stop and breath we say (sometimes scream) ” I am calm.” I am capable.” “I have courage.” and we say this over and over until we actually feel those things. We call it the “3 C’s” Now doing this doesn’t stop the feelings we are having instead it allows us to think logically instead of emotionally, to find a solution. Because BIG feels are hard to grasp. Gosh, small feelings can be hard to handle too. But they are even harder to handle if you don’t take a moment to breath so you can validate them.

They will never dissipate if we don’t give them the air to breath, calm and move on.

And sometimes, it takes a freakin’ month for the release to come. So when my lady showed up the other day, I was so damn thankful to be bleeding that I may have had a solo kitchen dance party.

You my wonder why I am tell you all this. And truthfully, it’s mostly so I can send off all these emotions I have been carrying around this last month. Because they have overstayed their welcome.

But also, so maybe if your in a month of BIG feelings that you too could try the “3 C’s” and see if it helps.

Because loving yourself, emotionally, physically and mentally is so FUCKING vital to your well being, that we must remind ourselves to check in, give our self’s a break, and a moment to breath.

 

 

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